Had enough
 

Cant take any more of this crap my head has gone bang this morning i have hidden behind a brave face for a long time now thinking things dont bother me i need help i have been out of work for 2 years now and its got to the stage were i cant be arsed because i am scared of rejection from everyone because of my age. my blood pressure has gone through the roof, everyone says "its ok Alan can handle it he wont get depressed" but i think its here i feel so down and out and finished, dont worry i am not at the stage where i will do something stupid or anything like that i just feel so numb inside a bit of a loner. Marshalling is the only pleasure i get in life nowadays and its looking like i wont be able to do that this year.

Really sorry to hear this Alan. But, please don't worry, your not alone. It's a bit of a vicious circle, being off work you get very depressed and bored (well I do anyway) and this can effect your confidence when looking for work. I know it's easy for me to say try and focus on the good things, but that really is the way I deal with situations when I feel like that.

I would say the very fact you have posted this, means your now taking action. Think of this as the 1st step of the road to recovery. :console:

Sorry to hear this alan, best just take the time off go for a nice long drive, spend a few days away from everything, hope everthing sorts itself out mate

Mate, you are not alone. I had a nervous breakdown a while ago and thought my world was ending. I had hidden this from myself and others for what seemed an age and one day couldn't go on. I felt like a dam had burst, cried for a whole day and felt like ending it all. You need to see someone, i went to my GP and she was great, cried my way through a 30 minute consulatation but ultimately felt better. There's no shame in getting some treatment, if you had a broken leg you'd get it plastered, if you had a headache you'd take a pill. Mental health issues effect one in four people so you really are not alone. My GP refereed me to an employment specialist as well as a therapist, the employment service can help in many different ways, you'd be surprised and the therapist helped as you'll need someone to impartial to talk to. If you want to talk to someone PM me and we can get phone numbers and have a chat mate. But do something and remeber you are most definitely not alone.

This is exactly how i was and how i am feeling today m8 something this morning just went bang. I feel so stupid i am a grown man ffs men arn't meant to do this

Got nothing to feel stupid about Al, I was in the Nissan factory when I let go and had to walk out with 2,000 lads staring at me. As a teacher I carried a brave face into class every day but eventually couldn't pretend anymore. The tablets I take everyday help and you might need to get some chemical help from your GP. The therapy sessions worked well too, she gave me steps that started off small and built up, gradually my confidence increased, it's a slow process but as others say you have made the first steps by acknowledging there is something wrong. Get an appointment mate and have a chat with a professional, you'll feel loads better. By the way I'm 45 and at first felt weak and spineless and that's normal but try to realise that there is only so much we can take on without losing it. We are all different, we all get drunk of different amounts and we all have our limits.

Probably more of a case of men don't admit it. Nothing wrong with having a good old cry once in a while mate.

Listen, I'll PM you my home number if you want and you could call tomorrow afternoon as I'm off work, let me know fella, no pressure though as and when.

You are deffo not alone mate, I have been dealing with depression for near on 10 years now. The first few years I did nothing but deny it and kept trying to put on a brave face, and paper over any cracks, but eventually at some point the walls have to come down. I felt really bad when I finally went to see my GP, and he was really good, he said, and its be said here earlier, the first step to recovery is admitting you have an issue in the first place. He said I have known you have had it borderline for years, so do your family, its just taken this time for you to know it., but now you do we can do something about it.
I spent over a year signed off work, not going out the house, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, finding myself at 3am on the morning sitting on the beach, just watching the waves with no recollection of how i got there. That was about 5 years ago.
Then I went through various versions of chemical help, also had some counselling sessions, and as much as there is a stinma attached, i found them really helpful, because they help to train your mind into thinking in a different way, and getting out of the rut you are stuck in.
I have been back at work for about 5 years now, and dealing with it on a daily basis, some days are good some are bad, but talking always helps, and I was also offer a shoulder to cry on, or friendly ear to listen if you want it mate.

But deffo dont think your alone!

Hang in there, i know it can't be easy but as you have made that first step it is at least a step in the right direction.

I dont have any experience of what you are going through first hand RE the employment, but i have seen depression being botled up ruin a marriage.... and it nearly made me loose my marbles a few years ago and become a recluse.... i would leave the flat 2 times a week and only ever speak to people via emails never on the phone or face to face!

Wish you all the best with it and hope you are able work your way out of it!