When your home alone Alan, try to focus on the positive things, i know it's hard to right now as your'e probably thinking nothing is positive etc... but you have to keep your mind fresh and active to take your mind off the bad things.
reflect on your good times, think up of some stuff you can do around the house as im sure there will be something that needs doing. When i was the way i was i used to be scared to stay at home alone but i focused on different things, i had a clear out of old clothes and any old junk, i just kept busy and within time it helped. It stopped me thinking about being low, and why me and what have i got in life etc...
Take a look around you hun, you have a lot in life to feel good about. and you never know what the future really could bring you.
x