Another whats it worth thread...

[waynester]

Not an easy situation.. many of us I guess have similar stories. I have 2 children, but I pay my way each month my responsibilities. Much rather see them & raise them (as normal) everyday, but the ex decided that that was not going to happen!

Anyway...again, selling the car may only help in the really short term, but leave you without a car? Not helped by the criminally low undervalue of the Zed!

Is it not an option to pursue the mother for maintenance through the courts/CSA?? She may not want to see them, but she still has an obligation to pay in the eyes of the law!

Good luck mate

[andy-81]

wayenster is right and you could try maybe popping into the council to see if your entitled to a little help with the council tax i know it wont be much but every little helps

[guru]

I feel for you, especially being in the same sector as I was an IT admin / manager. I earned a lot more then the average for this area and wifey works too which meant our household income was pretty good however even with that having 2 children in full time childcare meant that we were skint pretty much every month! We've made a few massive changes which have helped, firstly I quit my job!!!! I didn't leave to scrounge off the state but actually set up my own business as an I.T. Consultant which has grown considerably over the last 2 years and now brings in more then my previous full time job, plus I have the added benefit of being able to see the kids for more then 10 mins a day! As part of that change we also 'shopped around' for the childcare and by changing from a big nursery that was part of a national chain to a childminder in the village we've halved our childcare costs. That's one change I wish we'd made a lot earlier, the kids seem far happier now and she also does the school runs which is a massive help. Shopping for childcare is not something we'd have considered but in hindsight it's just a service like any other.
I also had a major look at all of our finances and chopped them to the core, insurances, entertainment, cars, mortgage.....you name it I looked at it and just by doing that managed to slash the household budget, OK we don't have Sky now but I can't say I miss it that much!

Unless you're earning an obscene amount you should also be getting a lot more then £100 in child tax credits so it might be worth talking to the tax credit people again. If you haven't already then also look at the childcare vouchers scheme as these are tax free and save you about 20% on the amount you can put into them, well worthwhile.

If your interested and want to send me over details of your expertise / experience then I can also keep you in mind if any work comes up through my company. We're pretty small at the moment but growing at a fair rate and we also have contacts in the south west so may start to target that area soon.

[stamford]

There are times when you need to play the system, not fight against it. During my time I have been made redundant three times and one time one of my kids was only 2 weeks old so know exactly what goes on. You have to put pride aside and do what is best for you, your family and your own wellbeing, stuff anything else.

There was a time when I was better off on benefits and hated it, so I can understand how people fall into this trap and put off going back to work. I had to turn down several job offers as the pay was so bad I was better off on benefits, daft I know but that is the system for you!

I ended up taking the next job offered and took another twilight job just to make ends meet as I hated being stuck in the system.

As for the CAB advice, that is so wrong but typical of how things work these days.

[ZS]

Originally Posted by waynester

Is it not an option to pursue the mother for maintenance through the courts/CSA?? She may not want to see them, but she still has an obligation to pay in the eyes of the law!

I get £10 a month CSA from her (She's on Dissability, but noone knows what is wrong with her!)

I am under a court order not to disclose anything about her, but lets say she's been convicted (although won't go to prison) and had all four of her kids taken off her (two of which have been forcefully adopted and my two are with me)...

Originally Posted by andy-81

wayenster is right and you could try maybe popping into the council to see if your entitled to a little help with the council tax i know it wont be much but every little helps

Tried that, I earn to much for Hampshire council to pay any council tax etc... any other county would help out it seems!

Originally Posted by guru

....If your interested and want to send me over details of your expertise / experience then I can also keep you in mind if any work comes up through my company. We're pretty small at the moment but growing at a fair rate and we also have contacts in the south west so may start to target that area soon.

Child care isn't that much during the term time, its the holidays that cost the money, but in order to make it better for me we add up the cost for the year then split it by 12 so we have a fixed monthly amount.

If you have any work going then I'd be happy to see what I can do - I'm a network and security person mainly, but I also do a lot of Linux \ Windows Server work (Keeping small websites such as Jobsite and The Daily Mail Online up) plus I can pretty much turn my hand to most things computers (Was trained up on Compellant Storage the other week! and have three VMWare Clouds I administer daily...) - I can go into more detail if you need it

[talkingcars]

It is all very frustrating - my ex has never paid a penny in CSA despite 2 or more of our children living with me for the last 6 years because she is either "studying" or having another baby so she can't work and she has set up her disability benifits so that they are not included in any CSA calculation.

The month after the youngest 2 moved in with me she still tried to claim CSA for them and the CSA tried backing her up.

When we first split I agreed to pay an monthly alouwance (sp) to each of the children to cover clothes etc, this was all done by standing order so that their were clear records. After 18 months she turned around to the CSA and said that it was just pocket money (um, it paid for clothes, school equipment, school trips etc). I contacted my MP who in turn spoke to the head of the CSA and they both agreed that I had done the correct thing but because the ex said it was pocket money there was nothing they could do!

When the younger ones needed child care I struggled to get her to have them for more than the minimum time, now they are old enough to be at home in the holidays she has them for the whole holidays, nothing to do with them to be old enough to look after the younger kids she has!

And to top it all she has just moved from her council house into a brand new house bought with her latest new piggy bank husband.

And this is just scratching the surface.

Enough of my problems and to your problems.

Selling the car - you will get very little for the ZS and proberbly not enough to pay for a cheaper to run car in a similar condition, we struggled to find a Rover 100 for my daughter in decent condition for under £1000 last year, most similar cars are equally as expensive.

Do you rent or are you buying? If buying can you reduce mortgage payments by getting a better deal or increasing the term?

Is it worth using your current child care durring term time and looking at local council holiday schemes for holidays? This is what we did and I was lucky my employer allowed me to start late and finish early to get them to the council scheme.

Network - there is always freelance work out there although you may need to do it above board, my step son was working full time at Tescos and doing this with his film editing work for several years until he had enough film work to self employed.

Good luck.

[ZS]

I rent... but its cheaper than anywhere else round this way

I think your right though... selling the car is not the answer and it would just be a repeat of last time!!

So, to cheer myself up a bit I spent a few quid on service items for the ZS... just got to wait for them to arrive now! - Hopefully should sort my MPG out a bit... and I'm saving money by doing it myself.

And I'm going to look in other areas to save money or increase my income a bit...

Still if anyone has any work that needs doing just shout

[Smokey]

Already sounding more positive about things make, nice to hear. Hope things pan out for you.

[POMPSKI]

Sorry to hear this. I paid £1850 for my 2004 black mk2 with 30 on the clock and FSH inc belts.

[waynester]

Originally Posted by Smokey

Already sounding more positive about things make, nice to hear. Hope things pan out for you.

Seconded!

Don't let the ***** grind you down. Keep your positivity, even when times get tough!